Welcome to Episode 6! If you’re just joining us, please read the earlier episodes to get caught up. Hope you enjoy!
I didn’t tell her I loved her, sitting across from each other in that booth, and I didn’t say it to her later that night either. I walked Olivia to her car and opened the door for her. She gave me a peck on the cheek and turned to get in her car then stopped. She looked at me and her eyes lingered there for a second, maybe two, then she got in her car and drove away.
That was my moment, I thought. I blew it. I spent the drive home kicking myself, thinking about what I should’ve said, all the ways I could’ve said it, and imagining what she would’ve done when I said it. Would’ves, could’ves, and should’ves ate me alive as I drove, and I decided I had to tell her the next time we were together.
I didn’t need to wait long to see her again. She texted me the next morning, a brisk but sunny one that held the promise of warmth later in the day, and asked if I wanted to go for a walk with her after work. I agreed, of course, and spent the dull day of work imagining the perfect situation, the perfect spot on our walk, to say those three words. I smiled at my desk as I played it all out in my head—how she’d say it back, her smile, the kiss. By the time I was done with work, I must have ran through the scene at least forty times.
I didn’t get much work done that day.
On my drive to the park where we had agreed to meet, clouds started forming overhead—not the kind that brings rain, the kind that makes things a little gloomy—but it didn’t bother me. Nothing could bother me in that moment. I’m sure they’ll go away soon, I thought to myself.
I pulled into the parking lot, and there was no trace of her car. That’s weird, I thought. She’s never late—her office is just down the street. I waited. Five minutes passed, then ten. I sent her a text and waited another ten minutes. Still nothing.
I called her cell, but she didn’t pick up. She always answered on the first or second ring. That’s when I started to worry. Was she just super busy at work and couldn’t get away? Did something happen? Was she ok? Did she not want to see me?
A single raindrop fell on my windshield—then another and another—and then it started to downpour as I drove away.
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